My father figure

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It was going to be a wonderful day for a scenic walk. My parents were visiting my husband and me while we were living abroad with our three young children. One of the kids even put on brand new white trainers for the occasion.

We set off through wildflower meadows, down into a valley, then up into the woods.

And then — we smelled smoke.  Then we saw the fire.

We watched in disbelief as the fire came down the cliff on the other side of the ravine, crossed the water, and rose up our side.

Within moments, we were surrounded on three sides by flames taller than my father.

The children’s trainers were quickly blackened with ash.

With no sign of help, our teenage daughter began stressing about her funeral. She was mostly worried her friends wouldn’t know in time to attend.

And my father — nearly seventy — calmly walked towards the flames. To see if there was a way through.

I’ve always known him to be strong, stubborn, and endlessly curious. In that instant, I saw what it meant to protect. What it meant to lead.

My husband managed to find just enough internet signal to check what to do. He called out: “Get to burnt ground. Fire doesn’t burn the same place twice.”   So we ran — together — towards the only patch that had already been scorched. And we huddled there, waiting, for the fire to sweep past us.

A few weeks before my father died, I sat with him on his bed, gently putting cream on his sores. Out of the blue, he looked at me and said: “I found a way through that fire. You all just never believed in me.”

calm The Qur’an, the book Muslims turn to for guidance, describes God as the Guardian. The One who quietly watches over us. The One who protects.  The one who guides us to a straight path.

In my father’s words, I saw so clearly that he had done his best to be a guardian. Fiercely, and faithfully.  We should have believed in him.

So now, when life feels overwhelming — when the smoke is thick and I can’t see a clear path — I remember God’s guidance and I remember those words of my father.

I can find a way through. Even if I get covered in soot along the way.

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